I knew it had to happen sooner or later. I've been able to nurse Jonah a lot longer than I did with Kolton or Micah. I planned on nursing for a year, but due to recent health conditions and an upcoming, week long, sans-kids vacation, the time to wean has arrived.
I thought I'd gotten lucky because Jonah refused to take a bottle. I dreamed of a long weaning where he would go back and forth from breast to bottle with no complaint.
I was wrong.
And I think the process is going faster than ever this time. I think he will be all done nursing by Monday.
Have I cried. Absolutely. This milestone for me is one I never like to come and go. I cherish those special times between me and my precious baby, snuggling and looking into one anothers' eyes. I love when baby gets a little older and they stop eating every now and then just to smile at you. I love how they know that you and only you are the one who can soothe their hunger, and even at times, offer much-needed comfort.
But when it's time, it's time. I hate to let my babies grow up....they never stop growing after that! And it seems that the older they get, the faster the growing happens. So I want to hang on to every stage of development for as long as I can. I want to soak in every last moment. I want to keep them little for as long as I possibly can.
But as much as I want them to stay little, they want to get big. It's so unfair. Even as babies, they watch and learn from bigger people all around them and want to do everything they do as soon as possible. It seems to me that Jonah has hit most of those milestones earlier than my other boys, and I think it's in large part because he watches his parents and his big brothers do things.
As I am typing this, Jonah is babbling to himself, "Dadadadada!" while busily going through my bookshelf, pulling off books and seeing what they taste like. Now he's discovered a bag, and he is delighting in the loud crackling sound it makes. He is nowhere near where I out him five minutes ago.
Where is my tiny, little baby?
I feel so blessed to be a mother. I have never loved anything as much as being able to be home with my family. I am so grateful that my husband is a good provider, and that we made the decision together to make sure that I was home to raise our children. I hate seeing these milestones come and go so fast, but I am so glad that I get to be the one to watch it happen.
Weaning is going to go fast, and before I know it,this little man is going to be toddling around my house, getting into all kinds of mischief, keeping me very busy. And I'm going to enjoy (and dread) every moment right along with him. I am so lucky.
Love you, baby J. Stay little just a little longer.