Saturday, March 5, 2011
remembering and surrendering
I am so grateful for the way challenges force me to open my heart and mind in ways I can't when things are all well in my life. I am amazed at how receptive my mind and spirit is and how quickly I can learn when I am forced to stop and become more humble. Humility is such an incredible thing...it's so important but so hard to keep in our lives. But I find when I am humble there is a quiet contentment in my life that is just there no matter what is going on. And a quiet strength that goes right along with it.
I've reached the point where I am realizing that this is all a process, and that I know I have done and will continue to do everything I can to get well, but ultimately, the Lord has something so beautiful and incredible in store for me, and I have to be patient and know that He knows me and loves me and recognizes what I need....even when it takes me awhile to figure it out. Patience is truly a virtue and one that I am finally just surrendering to. My faith and testimony of the gospel has been strengthened and renewed, and with that comes a humility and willingness to just surrender and submit to the will of the Lord. He has brought me so much joy, and countless blessings, and it's okay sometimes to reach the end of my rope and to rely on him to help me through. He will lift my burdens, like he always has, and I just need to trust that he's there to do it.
I feel good about the decisions we have made regarding my health, and Wes has told me that he does too. I think it has been a real test of our faith, since we have had to really go against the "norm" and put our faith in the Lord and listen to and obey his promptings. I feel like learning this together is going to help us so much in our lives together....especially while raising children. There is nothing I want more than to have that close connection with my Heavenly Father and to be able to bravely and instinctively know, He's showing me, what my children need and how to raise them and teach them what's right, what brings them joy and fulfillment in their lives, and how to love.
Things in our home right now are quietly becoming very peaceful amidst the chaos that is everyday life and its challenges. I can't even describe the feelings of peace and contentment and love that I feel just radiating around me from all over right now....I hope I can keep it with me when all is said and done.
Life is such a treasure, and so are the many lessons I am learning while I am experiencing it. I feel so blessed to be where I am now, with the people I love, striving to be the best I can be.