my little buddies

I love being a mommy.  I love the challenges and the rewards and everything in-between.  I love how all three of my little boys are so VERY different and so very much them and no one else.

I often wonder why they were sent to me.....of all the mommies in the world, these three little spirits were sent to me.  What is it that I am capable and supposed to teach them?  What are they going supposed to teach me?  Will I do my Heavenly Father proud?  Will I let Him down?  Will I send them off into the world in a way that strengthens them and helps them to be happy, confident, content, faithful, giving, kind, strong individuals, all in their own way?

I often wonder - how?

It's an amazing thing to be a mother, but it is also often overwhelming.  Especially when three boys are all so different.  I feel like I never know if I am doing them right sometimes.  It's scary, exhausting, frustrating, and at times, lonely.

But then I see this:

 or this:

 or this:

....and then I am flooded with gratitude and love, and a confirmation that I am doing my best, and that my best is good enough.  I love being a mommy more than anything else in the world (except for maybe being a wife, but that's another post for another day), and for all the tough moments and rough patches, there are hundreds more moments of laughter and love and sweetness that could never come from anything else.  Being a mom has made me a much better person.  It makes me see the good in the everyday, mundane things that I do all the time.  It helps me find the sweet moments of joy tucked away inside days of folding laundry, changing poopey diapers, and scrubbing the kitchen floor.  I receive kisses and hugs.  I get to kiss "owies" better, read bedtime stories, hear my boys giggling, witness and help them discover the world and all that's in it.  Even just now my son, Kolton, poked his head through the door to hand me a "flower" (aka morning glory weed) he found outside.  And then I begin to think that maybe, just maybe, I will be able to raise these boys right.

I am not alone.  I have the power of faith and prayer and Heavenly Father on my side.  I feel Him there, always, guiding me to the next important steps on this daunting and overwhelming task of raising children.  He won't let me down.  I have the love swelling from my heart, the love that miraculously grows stronger with each passing day.  I feel peace knowing with a surety that I will always love my children, no matter what.  They are my treasures in this life, and they know it.  When I surrender to the fact that all I can do is my best, I realize that by best is already more than I ever dreamed I was capable of, and that being a mommy is already better than I ever imagined.