I just devoured 4 (small, but still....4?!) slices of pizza for dinner tonight. It's the third or fourth pizza dinner in the last couple of weeks. Needless to say, I'm holding up well, considering, but I've definitely felt better.
I haven't taken a nap or exercised consistently in months. I haven't seen my doctor in a long, long time. Wes and I haven't been out on a date in a couple months - despite the fact that we just had our 7th Anniversary.
The boys have been in bed late night after night after night. Wes and I haven't been to the temple together in way too long. I haven't been writing, blogging, doing anything Power of Moms related in a month or so, haven't taken too many pictures....
....and the list goes on and on and on.
But, somehow, I have found the time to eat lots of junk food, get addicted to The Dick Van Dyke Show, trash my car, gain a couple pounds, forget to floss my teeth at night, practice the piano or voice, and do much cleaning.
I am in total disbelief just thinking about it....total disbelief about how many things in my life can be so out-of-whack at once. Now, don't get me wrong, I get that lots and lots and lots of stuff has affected my life in the past couple of months. I understand that I was pretty darn busy and pretty darn stressed. And so exhausted. I am not beating myself up about any of this. I'm just being honest and putting it out there. Maybe one day one of my kids will see that I struggled with things as silly as flossing and things as important as temple attendance. Maybe they will learn that nobody's perfect and that every single day really is a new beginning.
And you know what? There really are times in your life when all you can do is survive. And honestly, I feel like I have been in and out of "survival mode" for a long, long time. Some of it's been my fault, and some of it has been completely out of my control.
I am a pretty good-natured, happy, easygoing person. I truly appreciate my life and everything in it, even the hard times. But let's face it: sometimes life is really hard. And there's not a whole lot you can do about it except ride it out. And I feel like "riding it out" is exactly what we've been doing the past few years.
And now we are on to a new beginning. A special new beginning. One where we made so many careful, prayerful, BIG decisions to get to. One we waited for and anticipated for years, and eagerly awaited for many months. A new beginning that created a ripple effect of other new beginnings in our lives. We have felt the many blessings spilling into our lives and loved every minute of it.
Does that mean life has been easy the past little while? NO! I haven't had the ability to use my kitchen sink for a week....since we moved it. Hence the living off of junk food. It's kind of hard to eat anything if you can't use your sink to cook. For reasons I won't go into now, our house has been Grand Central Station since we moved in last week, and it's not going to be slowing down for a little while. I thought we'd be all settled in with a nice, structured routine by now, and we are far from it. Pictures need to be hung, A/C need fixing, organizing and taking care of things needs to happen, lots of phone calls to make and computer work to do. More than the ordinary chaos. We are still a ways away from "settled in". But I am so happy, I'll take it! We're almost there....
So, I am here, right now, declaring war on the things I can control that are contributing to life being so crazy and us not feeling "up to speed". I am ready to take the bull by the horns and get the ball rolling on all the little changes I need to make happen. So here I am, declaring my "new beginning" to the blogging world! I have a lot to do still, but I have a good feeling about where things are going. I can't wait to stop and reevaluate, and then continue on in the new direction in life we are heading now. I will not expect perfection of myself or anyone else, but I will also not look for excuses for making the wrong choices.
I am ready to "move with the cheese"! So, here I go. Goodbye bad habits, hello good ones!
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