are you wondering how today went?

Well..........

Not tons better, but it could have been a lot worse.

I did get to sleep in.  But only because Wes changed his schedule to work the night shift so he could be available when his brother is in town next week.  He is working tonight and all day tomorrow.  Goodbye date night and weekend together as a family.  See you in three weeks.

The other part of why I slept in is because I am so stressed and so buried that I can't seem to shake this dumb cold, and I was up half the night gasping for air (when I'm under stress, I have trouble breathing at night for some reason).  And because Micah spent the morning in bed with me with an achy toe.  We finally called the doc today and we took him in for a check.  Right during naptime of course.  That makes two days with no naps this week.  Grumpy, wild boys and an impatient, annoyed, worried mom.  The doctor ordered some x-rays that showed nothing, but he thinks it's a hairline fracture in Micah's foot.  He said to check in next week because that type of fracture won't show on an x-ray for up to a week.  I'm hoping we never have to check back.....fingers crossed.

My eye is still driving me nuts.  When I close my other (good) eye, it looks like I rubbed Vaseline all over my eye.....that's how blurry and out of focus it is.  I'm glad and lucky I have stayed headache free because it's certainly annoying!

I stopped by my mom's after the radiology, and we hung out (or hung in there, depending on how you want to see it) together today.  The kids played and bickered and trashed the house and had a lot of fun in between the teasing and mischief.

Kolton pooped his pants.  Pooped his pants. WHY is he still doing this at all at his age?!  I was able to talk quietly and privately a little with him about how embarrassed he would feel if he had an accident at school or away from home (Grammy's house is home away from home).  I was glad we were able to talk a little, and that he is big enough to let him (with supervision) clean up most of the mess himself to hopefully make him think twice next time.  And Abby pooped too....on the carpet.  Twice.  Right before I left my mom caught her in the bathroom "cleaning up" by unraveling the entire roll of toilet paper to wipe her bum with.  Oh how I wish I had gotten a picture of that!  When I poked my head in to survey the damage, she looked at me and said, "It a mess in here.  I cleaning up!"  And it was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud.  And Jonah fussed and cried almost the whole time.  I am guessing he just wanted to be home in bed because our routine has been so far off the last couple of days, and he's certainly a fellow who loves routine. 

Kolton said that he had a "way, way fun time today" and I was so glad to hear that.  It was nice to be around other people (we've been kind of hermiting here lately) and catch up a little.  And with that many little kids around, there are always many good laughs.  Just when you want to clobber them they just have to say or do something so cute or funny that it melts your heart and you forgive them wholeheartedly.  It's beautiful chaos, for the most part.  And even with everything going on most of the time, it's always nice to see my parents and talk about life and goals and laugh together amongst all the interruptions and exasperation.  It's annoying sometimes for everyone, but it's definitely unique, special, and something I am truly grateful to be a part of (having so many sibling my kids' age, I mean.).

Lucky for me, Micah fell asleep in the car and Jonah went right down.  I kind of missed snuggling them at bedtime, but at the same time I am a little relived and grateful for the break.  Now I need to go tackle another 5 loads of laundry and straighten up the house (it looks like a bomb exploded in it) before Wes gets home.  Then, hopefully we will turn in early and get some much-needed and overdue sleep.

You know what?  I've learned through my own experience that tough times really do make the good times sweeter.  And they can also give you a lot of good laughs.  I want to remember the hard and the good, and I truly feel grateful for all of it.  Even with sleepless nights, poop clean-ups, interruptions, ZERO privacy or time alone, I still wouldn't trade being a wife and mom, being home to take care of my family, for anything. It is so priceless to me.  I don't think I'll miss poop clean-ups, but I know, even now, that once these days of little people underfoot everywhere will be gone and I will miss them something terrible.  I already can't bear the thought of any of them growing any bigger.  Sending them off to kkindergarten next year is going to be SO HARD.  I love being the center of their universe, and I hope so much that I am setting a good example for them, and that they know without a shadow of a doubt, that they and their Daddy are the center of MY universe too, and that I would do anything for them.  I thank the Lord every day for the blessing and privilege of being their mom.  I am so incredibly lucky to get to be Wes's wife too.  I cannot imagine my life without them, and I don't want to.  No matter how hard and frustrating some days can be, these days of my life home with my own children and husband have truly been the very best of my life.  I hope and pray that they all know that. 

My cup runneth over....sometimes that's good and sometimes not so good.  But it always makes me feel so completely ovewhelmed with gratitude and awe that I have so many good things in my life to be grateful for.