Wes and I are now expecting the fifth member of our family on June 21, 2010. We are very excited and can't believe it! We have been so blessed to be able to grow our family. Wish us luck as we embark on this pregnancy during the busiest time of our married lives, Wes and I each building a business, raising our two beautiful, sweet boys, taking care of our home and dogs, Wes's extra hours working to pay off debt and build his business, and now we are coming into the holidays. I was feeling a little guilty about feeling so tired so early, but now that I am typing I see how much it really is in addition to the regular day-to-day stuff. I am going to have to work hard to be faithful with my prenatal yoga. It has always given me so much strength, peace, and relaxation during a time where my body feels so different and there are so many stresses and unknowns. For me, yoga gets me through my pregnancy more than any craving(although I have been eating guacamole like crazy!), especially the sciatic nerve and round ligament pain. knock on wood, I never seem to get too terribly sick (believe me, I still get sick, but not like some unlucky women who puke all day every day until the baby comes, I definitely feel better for the most part, after the first part.), but I am in a lot of pain most of the time instead. Honestly, for me, that's probably better anyway.
For now, I am in my quiet house. Wes is still at work, the boys are in bed after a full day or fun and work mixed together. I am getting ready to go do a lia sophia show (and pay a much-needed visit) to my good friend, Michelle, up in Idaho Falls, all by myself. (I don't know if that's ever happened since we've been married.) My mind always seems to be too tired for racing from one thought to the other lately, but I do feel thoughtful. I feel so busy, and I miss m husband. We've been so busy it's our time alone together that's been lacking the most. And I miss him. A lot. He is such a strength to me. He is my love, my best friend. It's times like these, when things get hard, that my love grows for him so much (along with ever other time in our lives). He is such an amazing person. So happy, so giving, so positive. So into his wife and his family. He is such a hard worker. He has more humility and integrity than anyone I know. I feel so blessed and overwhelmed at the fact that we get to be together forever. I have so much hard work to do to be anywhere near as good as he is. How did I get so lucky?
I feel often that the Lord has got something very special in store for our family. We have been showered with so many blessings, and my heart is just constantly so full of gratitude and love and awe. I feel Him there with us all the time, in everything we are doing. Often I wonder what it is He will have us do. Right now it feels like something big is going to happen (although maybe that's because we are about to have another baby...?). I feel so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family, to have the blessing of the gospel in my life, and to have the blessing and privilege if staying at home to be a full-time mommy to my sweet boys who bring me so much joy. I feel how important that job is every single minute of every single day. I hope I raise these boys up to be men like Wes. That's a pretty tall order, but from what I can tell so far, they are pretty incredible people too. It's such a humbling thing to be a mom, and realize that you are supposed to be teaching these incredible little people to be joyful, independent, loving individuals when they already seem to be teaching me so much more than I could ever teach them. I love being a Mommy, and I hope and pray every day that I do a better job than the day before, and that I've made my family, on earth and in heaven, proud of me.
I've been thinking a lot about goals lately. I like to set goals in the fall as well as at the turn of the new year. This time it's been so hard. It seems like there are so many important things going on in our lives right now that it's hard to choose what's most important to work on. For starters I really think we need to get ourselves, alone and together, to the temple a lot more often. I would also love some ideas of how to make my gospel study at home on Sundays more meaningful (Since Wes is in primary, I have to stay home with the boys every single week, and I miss that peaceful little lift I get from church). Any ideas are welcome. I also think right now it's so very important to serve others, and be a good friend. There are so many people I want to reach out to. I also need o find mo ways to cut corners at home so that our time together as a family is quality time, since there's been so little of it lately. My heart just feels so full of excitement and joy and contentment when we are all together. I love my little family so much!
Well, I guess that's all for now. There is still so much to do before I take off. I just wanted to put some thoughts down for now while they are still fresh in my mind.